My Diary's Page

The Inside Death

Everyone in this life has dreams, wishes, plans etc. Every person on this Earth wants to spend his life in a way that makes him happy. Compromising happiness for good is fine but when it brings no good in the future then it’s is not worth it. I don’t understand why people just know how to put their values on you and don’t understand what you actually want. They call you wrong, unjust, unfair, but they don’t realize that somewhere at one point, their way of even saying these words is wrong. But who should tell them this when they are not ready to even listen, let alone the understanding. Ah, these humans …

The times come and go, elapses take place, things change and re-change, mood swings get often, people get old, the images get blurred and so does the beauty, yet the humans remain humans. They do what they want, without understanding that every person is born with his own norms, needs, and values and no matter how hard you try to put the terms and conditions on him, he will though listen to you but deep inside his heart suffocation would exist and the matter of fact is that this thing eventually kills him from the inside. People like to get others bound and caged but they don’t realize that the chains that they pull around others are actually the thorns that make them bleed their souls.

Why does a person gets weak with time? Why does one feel tired when he has done no such activity? Why does he feel empty and numb when there’s no apparent reason for it? Why does he feels lonely even in the crowd? Why doesn’t he get satisfied even when he has nothing left to try? Why does one become a poet, painter, writer, musician, or anything that he has never even thought of or studied and yet his inside wants him to become one? These are some minor things that needs to be pondered yet they are fully ignored because there are no apparent answers to it.

The answers are actually present but we suppress them just for the sake of traditions/culture/norms and values. Why can’t one be himself when he has been given a right? Why can’t one take decisions when he is born to be a decision maker? In life, there are so many things that one wants to do yet he can’t. Ah these compromises – one of the reasons for the inside death.

Here I remember one of the lines from Sajjad Ali’s song that’ll be pretty motivating for those who have lost their selves for the sake of others.

Majboor sahi waqt se haara to nahi hu

(Translation: Though I am compelled, I’m not lost to the time)

-A

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